I'm losing...it's not like before. Last year when I had a problem.No this is much worst.B/c I don't know what's wrong. I'm losing my grip on everything: drawing,school,track,interest in my future or a care about future. Slowly I'm losing interest in the things I treasure and took pleasure in...I'm even considering suicide now...hahaha I just thought of something funny. You know if I keep saying that I want to die maybe God might grant me that wish. Because in my world there is a God or Higher power at work with many different names at work and the reason for why we are here and why this planet maybe here in fact is or strongly could be b/c of the being beyond comprehesion. Well that's my opinion on it whether people like, believe, or are content with it. It's my opinion and my beliefs and that's all that matters. But anywho I find everytime I go through this emotional downfall ,which is really do to my hay-wire I'm losing...it's not like before. Last year when I had a problem.No this is much worst.B/c I don't know what's wrong. I'm losing my grip on everything: drawing,school,track,interest in my future or a care about future. Slowly I'm losing interest in the things I treasure and took pleasure in...I'm even considering suicide now...hahaha I just thought of something funny. You know if I keep saying that I want to die maybe God might grant me that wish. Because in my world there is a God or Higher power at work with many different names at work and the reason for why we are here and why this planet maybe here in fact is or strongly could be b/c of the being beyond comprehesion. Well that's my opinion on it whether people like, believe, or are content with it. It's my opinion and my beliefs and that's all that matters. But anywho I find everytime I go through this emotional downfall which is really do to my hay-wire hormones,it gets worst everytime. I from there I get more serious each time about committing suicide. So really the question is how many more times will it take for me to do the dirty deed I ask myself sometimes? I mean when I feel this way I lost my interest in everything....for those few days friends seem like enemies or not important. The notation that since we die alone we don't need friends is a forefront in my mind. My simple pleasures are no more and I find myself do empty inside. I also feel so restless and anxious, but then there is nothing to be anxious for. Leaving so bored I rather sleep til there s something to occupy myself. s , it gets worst everytime. I from there I get more serious each time about committing suicide. So really the question is how many more times will it take for me to do the dirty deed I ask myself sometimes? I mean when I feel this way I lost my interest in everything....for those few days friends seem like enemies or not important. The notation that since we die alone we don't need friends is a forefront in my mind. My simple pleasures are no more and I find myself do empty inside. I also feel so restless and anxious, but then there is nothing to be anxious for. Leaving me so bored I rather sleep til there s something to occupy myself....but then I don't know...I don't know anything anymore. Except one thing, is I don't want to feel this way anymore